Using “Should” and setting expectations is wrong
Hear me out, I recently worked with an energy coach and one of the quickest takeaways is to stop using the word “SHOULD”. When you “should” do something you disconnect from your energy because you are not actively choosing to do it. Notice the difference when you say “I am going to go cut the lawn” vs “I should go cut the lawn” one is lighter than the other. I found myself getting stuck behind my own energy. I would constantly say at the end of the day. “I should go do my newsletter or I should update my website” but what would end up happening is my staying on the couch and getting further and further away from my goals.
My goal is to start managing my time better and accomplishing more in my day and I found that I wasnt taking advantage of the time I have.
#1 - Using “should” blocks your energy and creative power
Take notice of your energy when you “should” take out the garbage or “should” send that email. The energy behind it is usually heavy, you have to drag yourself to complete it. When a simple shift is applying or even thinking is removing the word should. You are choosing what you want to do and what you want to apply your energy too. I’ve found it works incredibly well and look forward to accomplishing more.
Setting expectations leads to disappointment if not properly addressed.
Hear me out, I’ve found that alot of pain and suffering comes from setting expectations because we all have our own interpretations. When we set expectations for an experience or a month or a day or a meal we are taking away from the enjoyment and directly applying our own opinion on how something “SHOULD BE”.
I expect nothing but success for my sales this month, or I expect this place to have the best fish and chips. When you get into the experience you are removing yourself from the present and taking away from the actual experience. As soon as you set a certain bar and your reality doesn’t match there is a gap between what you want to happen and what is actually happening = pain/suffering.
Setting expectations is a difficult game because we can’t predict what will happen at any given time but society put an emphasis on “My expectations are high”. If the expectations are not met it’s a slippery slope to try to enjoy or come back from. One of the most difficult things to do “enjoy the present moment” and how we do that is by being in the moment “as is” without expectations.
We went on our first trip with our 1 year old and my wife was bent out of shape worrying about how we will be on the flight. Her expectations were high. I informed her that by setting intentions we will be able to better adjust and without setting expectations enjoy whatever happens.
Setting intentions is a much easier way to avoid “the disapointment” when your expectations don’t work out the way they want to. Intentions are the same but not tying an “outcome” to your experience.
Set intentions and be intentional in your actions and since you can’t predict the future or control the universe, you can go with the flow and not be upset from it not going your way.
Summary
When you use “should” you are not consciously choosing your energy or deciding what you want to do
Expectations can lead to pain/suffering, if you are not careful and try to control the outcome. There is no way of predicting the future and if you find yourself upset by it not going your way. Set Intentions because they are not tied to the outcome and allow you to be in the present moment while dealing with anything that comes your way.